The average person has 5-6 serious relationships in their lifetime. The failed relationships usually teach you a lesson that you need to learn in order to be ready for the one that will last. But there are still a lot of people that don’t learn the most important lesson of all: First love yourself. Get your FREE printable reminder in the Resource Library
Learning The Lessons
There are so many things to learn when it comes to making a relationship work. And a lot of the time it can vary from person to person what works and what doesn’t.
So figuring out what you need is an important step. And learning what you won’t accept is a major part of that. Knowing what is a deal breaker is hugely important. Unfortunately, sometimes the only way to find that out is through someone breaking your heart.
If you take every heartbreak as a lesson learned, you will be better off the next time.
You also have to learn how to give the other person what they need. So that you can support them and make them happy too.
Take everything you go through in each relationship and learn from it. With the intent of being better the next time.
I want to take a quick moment to be very clear here. I am absolutely not saying to bring past relationship problems into a new relationship. Each relationship you have needs a fresh start or they will all fail. But by learning from past failings, you can recognize signs or trigger points for yourself. And use that knowledge to start open communication with your significant other. That way you can improve.
For a really great read (or listen if you grab the audio version) on this topic, I HIGHLY recommend Girl, Wash Your Face
Do The Work
As you are going through relationships and learning the lessons you will learn a lot about yourself. Some of it may be surprising. Some of it may not be. But you have to do the work in order to be able to have a truly successful relationship. And that starts with yourself.
First Love Yourself
Doing the work always starts with you. You need to look at yourself and figure out who you are.
This could mean a lot of different things.
- do you want to get married
- what career do you want
- do you want kids
- are you happy with the kind of person you are
You need to figure out who you are and who you want to be. And come up with a way to be okay with the fact that you are on that journey. You don’t have to be that person yet to make a relationship successful. You just have to accept who you are now.
Take a long hard look at who you are. How you talk to people, how others see you, how you see yourself. All of these things matter. Figure out if you are happy with the answers to those questions and decide if anything needs to change.
The goal is to first love yourself. So you need to teach yourself how to do that. And then you can be ready to love someone else. And to let them love you.
Build A Relationship
Once you have learned to first love yourself, you can work on building a strong, successful relationship.
If you haven’t learned that yet, it will be very hard. Because letting someone love you when you don’t yet love yourself can be challenging. Once you love yourself, you can understand what makes another person love you.
A successful relationship comes from mutual acceptance and support. They are a big part of love. You need to be able to trust one another. Talking openly is what makes you able to last together. And it will always be something to work on. In a relationship, the work never ends.
But being together, and doing things that you love is a great start. You’ll be able to enjoy each other’s company. And since you take the time to first love yourself, you’ll know what you both want in the future. And it gives you the ability to grow and dream together.
Keep On Working
The work will never end. Loving someone is a hard thing to do. It takes active attention and effort.
Making sure to first love yourself, you can learn to love someone else and be what they need as well. So since you can be what each other need, you can continue to build a strong and successful relationship.
Remember to first love yourself and visit the Resource Library for your FREE printable reminder.
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