Knowing your partner’s love language is incredibly important to the success of your relationship. Visit the Resource Library to get over 20 suggestions for acts of service you can do for your spouse.
The 5 Love Languages
The 5 love languages describe and categorize the ways that we give and receive love. Each of us has a primary love language and often a secondary (or 2) love language that shapes and explains what makes us feel loved.
Those love languages are
Love Language #4: Acts Of Service
Someone with this love language enjoys helping people out by doing things they don’t like to do or having someone assist them by taking something off their shoulders.
What if you don’t speak acts of service?
The important thing to remember when you are struggling to use a love language that means something to your partner is that you are not doing it for you.
You are doing it for THEM.
This love language can be difficult if you don’t speak it. You may feel like you are just adding more to your own responsibilities. So it is important to remember that you are doing it to help your spouse, and to let them know that you love them. The best thing you can do here is to make a habit out of doing specific tasks so that you don’t get overwhelmed or resentful.
Tips To Succeed At Acts Of Service
Help with chores
This is kind of a no-brainer. The easiest way to make your acts of service spouse happy is to take some of their chores and help them out. But I have a tip to get the most out of doing the least (for those who hate doing their own chores, let alone some of their spouse’s)
Pay attention to what your spouse enjoys doing, and what they dislike. The will appreciate your help the most if you do their least favorite tasks for them.
So if your wife puts off the laundry constantly. Until she is out of underwear and there is a load in the dryer, one in the washer, and 1 on the couch waiting. Plus she could easily wash 2 more after that.. take care of it. She probably hates it. So once or twice a week, do a load of laundry. Wash it, dry it, fold it, and put it away.
Just think about it and you will know what chore your spouse hates. Then you can take that one on more often and your spouse will probably be over the moon about it.
Watch for habits
If you know that every time your husband comes home, he puts his keys in a different place. Then can’t find them when he is trying to leave. Pick them up and put them in the same place every day. So when he goes to look there, they are waiting for him.
If your wife always forgets to grab her water bottle on the way out the door, grab it for her.
These are small things but they will make such a big impact on someone with the love language acts of service.
- Give them a snack when you get one
- Let them have the remote
- Do their least favorite chore
- Take on extra when they are under extra stress
Don’t let this love language make it feel like you have to carry all the responsibility. Just let it be a reminder that you need to be conscious of what your spouse has going on. So that if they are in need of a break you can do some acts of service to help them feel less stressed and more loved.
Need to find out yours and your spouse’s love languages? Learn more and get your FREE printable worksheet at How To Use The 5 Love Languages To Improve Your Marriage
Don’t forget to get your FREE list of over 20 ideas for acts of service from the Resource Library