Knowing your partner’s love language is incredibly important to the success of your relationship. Visit the Resource Library to get date ideas and conversation starters! Spending quality time together is an effective way to communicate both verbally and nonverbally.
The 5 Love Languages
The 5 love languages describe and categorize the ways that we give and receive love. Each of us has a primary love language and often a secondary (or 2) love language that shapes and explains what makes us feel loved.
Those love languages are
Love Language #2: Quality Time
The main desire of someone with this love language is to spend quality time or do quality activities together.
What if you don’t speak the quality time love language?
The important thing to remember when you are struggling to use a love language that means something to your partner is that you are not doing it for you.
You are doing it for THEM.
The quality time love language will take a little bit of planning. But if you make a habit of it, you will be able to successfully use this love language for your spouse.
Tips To Succeed At the Quality Time Love Language
Quality Time Definition
Good conversation during which both people are giving their full attention to each other. With limited distractions. Can also include doing an activity one enjoys and the other tolerates but does FOR their partner.
Schedule Quality Time
Having a date night is the best time in your quality time partner’s week. They crave it. The focused attention they get from you is something they feed off of.
The amount of love that this person gets from regularly scheduled quality time is unable to be matched by anything else. So your spouse will look forward to it. It will help them get through anything going on throughout the week.
So keep it routine and never downplay the importance of consistently scheduled quality time.
When you are planning your date nights, make sure that they are conducive to true quality time.
Don’t Complain About ‘Wasted” Time
Never act as if time spent with your quality time spouse is wasted time. Or time that would have been better spent doing something else. Understand that the time spent with YOU is the most important in your partner’s life. Do not downplay that because you would have rather been doing something else.
Something to keep in mind is the way that you talk about spending time with your spouse. You want to avoid saying things like “but we already spent enough time together today” or “we just did that yesterday”
In order for your spouse to get the full benefit of your quality time you need to understand what counts.
You do not get to count your Netflix binge as quality time. Maybe once in a while, if you are watching your spouse’s favorite show it will work. But consistently, your quality time will consist of NO SCREENS.
Turn the TV off. Put your cell phone away and on silent. And just BE TOGETHER. Talk to each other and do things together that you can focus on with no outside distractions.
Give Your Full and Focused Attention
Not only does this mean no distractions. But it also means that you need to be practicing active listening and making good eye contact. If you need to review communication check out The Method To Communicate With Your Husband Better and How To Improve Communication In Your Marriage with a Weekly Check-In.
These will help remind you how to really prepare for and focus on your spouse during your quality time.
- Schedule a date once a week.
- Offer to do something your spouse enjoys that you may not personally choose to do.
- Enjoy your spouse.
The quality time love language can feel like a chore to add to your list. But remembering that it is not “just another thing” on your list is SO important. Be sure that you are scheduling time together, and your spouse will notice!
Need to find out yours and your spouse’s love languages? Learn more and get your FREE printable worksheet at Simple Five Love Languages Summary to Help your Marriage
Don’t forget to get your FREE printable with date ideas and conversation starters from the Resource Library