Being a stay at home mom is a wonderful luxury that a lot of women wish they could have. It is the best job I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved my job before. I loved selling jewelry, selling bridal gowns and bridesmaid dresses, and coaching figure skating. But it is a different kind of love. None of those other jobs match up to raising this little boy of mine. He is beautiful, funny, active, and just downright adorable. I love being the person he looks for and will always smile and laugh at. But it is also incredibly difficult and there are a lot of hard parts.
Being The Only Person That Can Calm The Baby Down
For a stay at home mom, being there only person that is able to calm a new baby down comes with the territory for the first few weeks or months. In my situation, with my husband being at work more than he is home, this is even more so. But so goes life as a military wife. When Tobias was young, I was often the only person he saw for days. Stay at home moms will know this situation well.
The baby is screaming despite being changed, fed, and loved. You, mom, are trying to get something done; wash the dishes, cook dinner, shower, eat, nap, something. But after 20 minutes of the baby screaming with someone else, you feel like a horrible mother, cave, and take the baby. There is immediate silence. Little hands holding on to you like you are a lifeline. Whatever you were doing remains undone. Someone feels rejected by the baby and envies you, maybe even like that can’t help the baby. So goes the life of a stay at home mom with a clingy little one.
Wanting Everything Done the Way You Do It
When you are a stay at home mom your entire life is spent with your little one. You do everything for him and you’ve spent weeks figuring out what works. By the time you get to that point it is incredibly difficult to let someone else take care of him differently.
For example, you want your husband to put the baby to sleep so that you aren’t the only one who can do it. But first you want to tell him exactly how you do everything step by step. And there are about 50 steps. After that he goes to do it but the baby cries. Your husband brings the baby to you because “he doesn’t cry when you do it”. You calm him down and you want to give him back to your husband because you can’t be the only person to put him to bed. But you want to do it your way so that your son sleeps like he usually does so you can sleep too. Finally (maybe an hour, maybe a week later) you suck it up and let your husband do it his way. While you sit in another room and let the baby cry.
As a stay at home mom it can be hard to see things done differently than you do. But doing things that get to the same conclusion in a different way is still fine. Everything works out at the end of the day. The baby will benefit from being used to different ways of doing things in the long run anyway.
Being Exhausted to a point You Never Thought Was Possible
Becoming a parent is exhausting. Being a stay at home mom is even more exhausting. The part that makes it that way is taking care of the baby for every moment of your life. To start with, babies eat A LOT. Like every 2-3 hours when they are breastfed. Then sometimes they go through growth spurts, teething, sleep regression, moving, or a million other things. And now, they want to eat once an hour.
Since you are staying at home, especially if you are breastfeeding, you will be the one waking up with the baby all the time, After several days (or weeks) of that 4 hours of sleep at a time come around again it will feel like the best thing ever. But keep the coffee coming because something else will happen and you’ll be back to square one.
At least when it’s time to get up for the day you can look in the crib and see that sweet little smiling boy gazing up at you. They might be little stinkers but we love them more than life.
Stay At Home Mom, The Best Job
Being a stay at home mom is incredibly difficult for many reasons. I miss going to the job that I am good at and love. I miss having nothing to do but watch TV at least a few days a month. Oh do I miss getting 8-10 hours of sleep every night. But the gift of raising my child and watching him grow, and not missing anything in my son’s life. I wouldn’t give it up for the world.
Tell me the hardest adjustment you made when you became a parent? And what is your favorite part about it? Tell me in the comments below.