Becoming a mom for the first time is a crazy experience. It is exciting and overwhelmingly terrifying. There are certain things you just don’t know how to do until you do it. Like breastfeeding, how to be okay with getting poop on your hands, and waking up 5 times a night for weeks on end. But what do you expect when you are getting ready to do it all again? If you’d like to get the ultimate checklist for a second time mom now, check out my Resource Library.
Becoming a 2 Child Household
All the ‘baby stuff’ will mostly remain the same. You will figure out a schedule for feeding, sleeping, and playing like you did the first time around. But the biggest difference is that you have another kid running around somewhere.
For me, this can be challenging. My kids are 15.5 months apart. And my son likes to be ‘helpful’. And by that I mean he likes to do things like share his snacks with his 6-month-old sister. And pick her up to carry her into a different room with us. Of course both of those things will actually result in major injury or death, but he sees it as helping.
And then you have the times where I sit with one and the other FREAKS OUT because I am giving my attention to someone who is not them. That’s always great.
But there are ways to have an idea of what to expect. And to prepare yourself so it won’t be a surprise.
What To Expect From Your First Child
It depends on the child that you have. And how old they are. But you really won’t know until the new baby arrives. So it is best to be aware of the changes that you may be in for. So I’ll list some of the big ones.
Some kids will kind of take a step backward when a new baby is welcomed into the family. They will see the new one getting whatever she wants or needs by crying. And you giving all (so they will think anyway) your attention to her. So you may see some of these activities increase.
- whining, crying, or throwing fits more often
- waking up overnight
- wanting more comfort than usual
- having accidents
It will depend on the child how much they may regress, but it is extremely common because they want more attention. Being aware these things may happen will help to keep you from being surprised. It will also help you to have a better reaction to them if they do.
This is a HUGE one. Your first child is used to having all your attention. And not seeing you with other babies or kids. So now that you are going to have a second baby, they are probably going to struggle.
It can show in a lot of ways.
- crying, whining, or throwing a fit (because this is how kids react to everything)
- being VERY clingy ie. climbing on you, hanging on you, going everywhere with you
- taking toys from or hitting the new baby
If there are any major issues please consult your pediatrician so that no one gets hurt. But jealousy is completely normal. And the best thing you can do is try to spend time with your older child when the baby is not there. Don’t always put them down or walk away immediately because the baby is crying. It won’t hurt the baby to cry for a minute or 2.
What To Expect From Your Second Baby
Again, all babies are different. But some common things to be ready for.
Making Milestones Faster
The second baby has the older sibling to watch and keep up with. So they may do things like roll, crawl, walk, and talk faster. My second baby rolled over before she was a month old. I didn’t believe her, rolled over back over, and made her do it again.
They want to do what their sibling is doing. And they want to be able to watch everything to. So they will probably be doing things a lot earlier. Your older child may even help teach them some skills. My son loves to crawl around his little sister while she is in the crawling position. She has been on hands and knees for about 2 months but will only crawl backward and twist and roll around the room. So he tries to help by showing her.
I know I said this for your first born but your new baby will get jealous too.
As she gets older she will watch you do things with the older sibling that you don’t do with her. And she will cry just because you are with him. But working with it is going to go both ways.
Spend time with both kids alone. And don’t always leave right away for the other unless necessary. Doing your best not to abandon one when the other starts crying will be huge.
What To Expect for Yourself As A Second Time Mom
These are the things you need to prepare yourself for.
You’ll Be Busy
I can’t begin to tell you how busy I thought I was when I only had one child. I felt like I never had time for anything else. I was struggling to keep up with the housework and feeling like it was SO hard.
Then I became a second-time mom. And boy do I miss all the time I used to have!
But it will be okay. You will find time again. Eventually, you will get into a routine and figure out when you can do something other than just parent and keep your two little ones from killing themselves.
Just know, that for a while, you are not going to get everything done. Some things are going to have to wait. And it is totally okay.
You’ll Be Tired
You don’t know tired until you have 2 kids wake up overnight. It’s just the truth.
My son usually sleeps through the night. But sometimes he wakes up. And it is ALWAYS when my daughter is sleeping.
There are 2 kids that need you to do things for them. And for a while, you are going to have to keep up with 2 different schedules. Because when you had a newborn the first time, you could sleep when they did. Even if it wasn’t much.
But now, you have another child that is up for most of those naps. So you have to be up too. And if you have a toddler, my heart goes out to you. Because I get it. They are bouncing off the wall and you are hitting the floor.
One day, they will be on the same schedule. And you will get to sleep again. Until then, I recommend A TON of coffee.
Second Time Mom
Becoming a second-time mom is easier in some ways and harder in others. But at the end of the adjustment period, you will be okay.
- Create a routine
- Be open to making adjustments
- Try different things
- Remember that every baby is different
- Spend time with both of them separately
You can do this!
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